Anywho... My wife and I just finished watching "Say Anything" with John Cusak. I am at best ok with the movie, but there were some disappointing moments throughout. She is offended by my stance. She says that because I am a guy I don't understand or appreciate the love story in the movie. My response is "What fucking love story!?" There is more love story in a girls gone wild video than in this movie. Plus, my wife just admitted she is in love with John Cusaks character in this movie, and as his character is a flaming homosexual who hasn't come to terms with his sexuality hence him going out with this chick. Fuck! I lost my track of thought. My wife also just mentioned that she would like to spend some time in the dryer, which goes to show her mental state, or lack thereof.
You know, this might be a drunk blog. I didn't think I was all that toasted, and was worried that all this diet and exercise and stuff, that I couldn't get drunk anymore, but I think I am finally getting there.
My wife is standing next to me "wanting to drunk blog with me", but I am ignoring her. "She could make it very hard to ignore me, but I am resilient." She is giggling while she is tickling my neck, but it isn't WORKING! Maybe if she blew me. Oh crap, she left to brush her teeth. CRAP! Now she is back reading this and it is awkward. HA! I almost got her to spit out toothpaste! HAHA, she burped while brushing her teeth. I think she should have to rebrush them. I don't know.
Yeah, I am official drunk by the way.
You don't know this since you are reading this, but I have hit the backspace button more than any other button combined. That's how I know how drunk I am.
"There is botox in sperm, let me come on your face." OK, I just made that up, but I am going to use that line one of these days. Feel free to use that yourself, I'm a giver. Of cum. On the face is my speciality!
OOOOOooooo, that hacked off the wife. Now she is gone and this blog is mine, all mine!!!!
hmmmm... So... How are you doing out there? Got a nice blanky, because that is an important part of living a good and healthy life. Same with porn.
Jesus! Is there no sanctity of property! My wife was messing around with my new underwear! Jesus Christ what the fuck is going on here!?
Did I ever post on here that I have bad ADD when I am drinking?
OK. Think. Wife messing with underwear. Oh yeah! I feel positively violated now. And not in a semi unwilling young lad losing his virginity to a hot MILF (like my wife!), but in a semi unwilling young lad losing his virginity in prison to a hot young prison gang member for a pack of unfiltered Lucky Strikes. Fuckin' a I can be long winded sometimes. I love the long sentences, but at the end of them I forget where I was going with them. OK, give me a sec while I catch up on where the fuck I was going with this.......
You know, having my wife wear one of my work shirts while in her underwear doesn't bother me at all, in fact it's about the opposite of bother as you can get, but the thought of my wife wearing my underwear bothers me quite a bit. Not that she did, but her defense earlier was that she didn't wear them or stick her finger through the overlap to the inside of them. Man, I don't know where to go with this.
I hope you are keeping track of this post using a napkin because I am all over the place.
So this "movie", "Say Anything", just bugged the shit out of me. I like the fact that two people who are inherently different fall for each other and look like they are going to have a promising life together forever. At the same time, they have to go through a ton of shit to get to the end point. Why the hell can't we just all skip the bad and trying shit and get to the good point!? Honestly, just own up to the fact that you have a good thing going on (or not going on, but I'm looking at this in a half glass full manner), and skip the stupid testing shit and enjoy what you got!
There was another one of those long sentences that threw me off track.
I was going to do a post where I put of a picture of a snow woman, with the title of, " I frocked her", in tribute to Andrew Dice Clay, but I don't like him outside of a few soundbites. Then I had the idea to take a picture of the hill behind my house since we have tons of frost, and mention that I had won a huge can of flocking during my undercover carny work and punked my neighbor. So call that one of my "almost, but not quite" skit ideas. Though that makes me think of a skit where a guy goes on trial for flocking things. There would be lines like, "yeah, I flocked her. Twice.", and.
yes I always practiced safe flocking by wearing gloves."
The plural of gloves above (like I have two dicks) (which I might,and if you are a hot chick and want to find out, buy me a drink) is why I like to sleep with two women at a time.
Heck, to be honest, the plural of anything is why I like to sleep with two girls at a time. That's the best Menages e' many I believe. Rutabagas, good enough for me to sleep with two women at once!
Man, looking at the title I put to this post I forgot where I started. Something about that semi boring movie we watched tonight that didn't land the ending right.
Anyway... Peace out, and have sex in as many ways as possible to overcome the puritan programming that is instilled in us by the stifling society that we live in, in America. God doesn't believe in limits, neither should you. That's why he made orgasms feel so good.
You know, this movie reminds me of my "to do" list. The list of famous people that I'm not sure I would feel extremely guilty sleeping with if the opportunity arose. That's because my wife thought in the beginning that Jennifer Connolly was in it and she used to be in my to do list. Now it's Anne Hathaway (Call me!!), and Julia Roberts. Jeez, I just realized I am not a big fan of the current run of actresses. I'd do Britney Spears in a one night stand maybe, but with all the shit surrounding her I am not committed to that. Kudos to my wife, she is always on my to do list always! That's a good thing honey, remember it's good for you too as there aren't to many 10 inch cocks around. Tootin' my own horn there as I can with a 10 inch cock, but I don't have to since I have a 10 inch cock. Did I mention that I have a 10 inch cock? I take reservations.... Deposit required in advance, credit cards accepted.
Not really, but my wife might like the extra money. She is my pimpess.
That reminds me, but not really, I am digressing here. I have a "friend"/competitor in a biggest loser contest who said that you gain an inch in penis length for every 30 pounds lost. I think he was just making that up as he has an "inny", and I'm not talking about his belly button. FACE!! Still, I can't imagine my hugeness becoming even huger. The only people smirking or giggling are people that haven't experienced the hugeness of the CARNY KILLER. Which is what the tattoo that I am going to get says one of these days.
Damn, I have to stop. My right eyeball is getting dry from all of this typing.
Now, since you made it to the end of this rambling post, reward yourself, go have some great sex! You know what I say, "an orgasm is gods way of saying you did it right!" And enjoy life! Roll with the punches, and focus on the good things. Have a smile for every person who enters you life, even if for only a little bit. And love the people you love to the fullest!!!!
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